For a Few Axes More

I Just Want My Orc Kids Back

Well, the day after Axmas was a sad affair. Replacing the laughter and glee of Orcish children playing with their new toys was the sobbing grief of their parents. Elves had kidnapped the children with the help of an enormous white haired, horned creature while our ronin heroes were contending with the surprise attack by a baboon the night before. An unruly or named Scroog blamed the newcomers, saying it wasn’t enough to win at the Axmas games, they had to steal the children too. With no love for elves, and their honor on the line, the group of ronin swear to save the children or die trying. ((Malgrim)) invokes the Rite of Honor Arms to prove his seriousness about the quest. The Rite entails he swap his family daisho for a couple of axes belonging to the orc families. While tracking the kidnappers North towards Mount Myra the party encounters Walking Klawen, an Orc druid who has heard of the the parties quest and gifts them potent healing apple ciders so they might prove victorious.

Defiling the Defilers

Up Mount Myra the trail goes, getting colder but not cold. The ronin are led to a strange ruin. The Stellarium of Saint Kring Indo, a powerful bugbear cryomancer/diviner from an ancient age. In past battles with elves Kring would divine the movements of elven armies and destroy them with deadly summoned blizzards. The Icy Scourge of Elves was entombed in his Stellarium but what were the Elves doing here? The ronin party investigates further…

Inside the first chamber of the Stellarium the murals on the walls have been desecrated with crude drawings. A statue of Saint Kring had been taken off its dais with elven snowmen surrounding it performing lewd acts. Iroh relived himself of spent sake on one of the snowelves when the rest suddenly sprang into action and attacked the party! During the fight pairs of huge ravens and wolves dragged the party to a sarcophagus chamber hidden behind an ice wall.

More than a sarcophagus chamber however, this was also the home of a huge glowing brain formed of ice that housed Kring’s disembodied consciousness. The party learns from Kring that the elves are here to steal relics from his past conquests and that theyve sealed the door leading directly to his underground workshop maze. He is infuriated the elves killed and made undead Puskram, his Yetitaur. Puskram was his oldest creation and friend and tasks the ronin with returning krampus’ body. He also tells them of a secret way into the maze but they would have to confront his powerful mount, the Renslepi…

Oh What Fun it is to Ride in a One Renslepi Chariot!

The Renslepi’s lair was at the top of Mount Myra but the party decided to collect some cinnacarrots from an overgrown garden to appease the Renselpi. The creature resting in a pool of lava at the top of the mountain. After coaxing it with soothing words and cinnacarrots they strap the fire breathing, nine headed, eight legged, reindeer/hydra/phoenix monstrosity to Kring’s war chariot and take off into the pool of lava!

Merry Axmas!

Funeral Fire for Fungal Follies

Our heroes rush out of blazing giant ant hill to find an army of ants from a neighboring ziggurat. The ant leader introduces himself as Ban and explains that his scouts saw smoke and he brought his soldiers to investigate. They appreciate the ronin stopping the spread of the fungal infection and ask if they’ll be guests at the funeral pyre. The party obliged and witnessed the ants solemn funerary dances. Our adventurers said farewell to the ants and returned to camp to check in on Pop, Snap, and Crack. They feast on cream corn seasoned with dinosaur meat with blueberry tarts for dessert and recieve parting gifts from Murok and Pramela. Pii’treb sticks around to offer the party a proposition in the morning.

Angelic Harpies

Jane awoke to a find her body has had a strange reaction to the royal jelly she had eaten the day before. She sprouted an ant leg from the right side of her body during her sleep! She decided it wasn’t hurting anything so she leaves it be. Pii’treb tells his new friends that honor demands he repay them for saving his life. He asks them to accompany him to the Eldeen Reaches where he has a cache of goods that would serve them well. Pii’treb’s hideaway in a webbed up dead tree. After divvying up the treasure the party is attacked by a couple of harpies that have come to rescue their sister who got trapped in Pii’treb’s webs. After subduing the harpies with plans to form a marine themed brothel ship in the future the adventures listen to Pii’treb talk about the orc lumberjack andgift giving festival known as Axmas…

Lumbering Around

Our heroes traveled to Axnard, the Axmas capital, with Pii’treb to sell alcoholic royal jellies called jawslackers to the celebrators. They participated in the Axmas parade as goblin emissaries. They dominated in the lumberjack games and won the gift making contest with Axmas Queen Greta selecting their magical legos as her favorite toy. Dire boar and cider is feasted on while enjoying the huge bonfire.

This Party Has Gone Ape Shit!

During the late hours of the festival disaster strikes! Wild baboons and elven snipers attack Axnard! The party shakes off their drunken stupor and rise to the challenge to fight the baboons but the tricksy elf bastards have made off all the orc children of Axnard! Will our heroic ronin be able to rescue Axmas? Tune in next week!

Ant Life (Still) a Bitch?

Troll Trouble

The group took time to catch a second wind and repair equipment damaged by the iron destroying grey spores. Things quickly got hot under the collar when Murok came screaming down the corridor with something in hot pursuit. A blazing, fungus infested troll dragging a stoic gnome behind it had been awoken by Murok’s poking about. The ronin fell the vile beast and introduced themselves to the gnome slave named Iroh. The party back tracked a bit to follow up on a tip Murok gave about a hidden cache of treasure in a previous room. After another good respite contemplating life around the fungus fire they decided to press on to the queens chamber.

The Queen is Am Us, Long Live the Am Us

The pincher lock mechanism unlocked the huge sandstone door which gave way to a horrific sight. The room was draped in mutation fungus. At the center of the chamber was the mutated queen with a pulsating egg sac spouting forth malformed ant mites. Sleep enchantments, javelins, furious strikes, icy blasts, fastball specials, and vampiric lighting, the ronin spared nothing from their arsenal of death to stop this abomination of nature and it paid off. Pii’treb collected what royal jelly he could to sell to the orc tribes in the Eldeen Reaches. The ronin decided to sanitize the hive with fire and get the blazes out of there!

Tune in next week!

Ant Life a Bitch?

Making Mountains Out of Ant Hills

An ant colony has been taken over by a mutated fungus. Our heroic party of ronin and their halfling guides have taken it upon themselves to clean up and prevent the spread of the horrible mind ravaging fungal spores. Maybe they’ll find something worth a few coins while they’re at it.

Sort This Out

In the ants sorting room Jessufar set fire to some of the fungus (while Malgrim and Jane make a chimney) then the group slays about a half dozen of the poor wretched worker ants.

A Cure for What Doesn’t Ail You

Here in the “Troll Curing Room” the party encountered Pii’treb the spider envoy hiding under some rags. Pii’Treb was understandably frantic so the party calmed him with a powerful artistic performance. Connor and Malgrim acted out a dueling dance-off while Jane created visual effects with her magic and Jessufar provided music on drums. Their new arachnid ally helped them seal off the mines using his web so the party might stand a better chance escaping this cursed ziggurat. Malgrim and Jessufar acquire a couple of orbs of royal jelly.

The Bloody Brood Hall

The party had need of the head of a solider ant to unlock the door to the queens chamber. They got more than they bargained for when four solider ants dropped from a hole burrowed in the ceiling. Jane was soon downed. Tiny grey fungal spores in the air ate away metallic arms and armor. Connor died, his heart ripped out by murderous mandibles. Chances or survival started to look grim. Malgrim brought Jane back to consciousness with a dose of royal jelly. Fickle fate smiled and it looked as if the ronin party would prove victorious. A flub in a simple necromancy spell taps powers beyond her ken and Jane ripped a portal to Dolurrh, the realm of death. A beautiful and terrible spectral entity steps forth from the portal and mends Connors chest replacing the gaping wound with a strange runic scar that glows an eerie blue. The party won their prize of an ants head. But now Connor has the strangest thirst…

To be continued!


I'm sorry, but we no longer support this web browser. Please upgrade your browser or install Chrome or Firefox to enjoy the full functionality of this site.